Light

I never cease to be amazed at the way light can change the look of things. If you get used to driving down a road at a certain time of day and suddenly change your habits, you notice new things or feel as if you are in unfamiliar territory. Light has the ability to make old things seem renewed, or give a hint of grandeur to something new.

The only thing that doesn't change is the face of the one you love. From first glance in the glow of dawn to the pink and orange rays as the last vestiges of daylight slip away, that face remains the same. It reflects your love and magnifies it in return. I will never forget the look in your eyes as you look at me.

Summers in North Carolina are akin to having a fever. The heat is palpable. You walk around with a fine sheen of sweat on all exposed (and sometimes unexposed) skin. The air is so thick you could cut it with a knife and that humidity never abates.

All summer you live for that last day, the day the fever breaks. When the mornings have a chill to the air and the humidity disappears so completely that you forget it was ever there. Sometimes the fever returns, but never as strong. Gone are the days of 24/7 AC, the nights and mornings of open windows and crickets singing have arrived.

I didn't realize that being alone sometimes wasn't perfectly ok until I wasn't anymore.

Kudos to you if you can pull my meaning out of that sentence.

What I was trying to say (in less words) was that a few months ago, I was perfectly happy in my existence as a single person, just working and hanging out with my roommate and other friends. But after the past 2 months, I think I must've been temporarily insane. Especially considering it took us a year to get around to it.

Oh well. The error has been rectified. I am utterly delighted with the results.

What is it about moving to a new place that gets you so psyched up? I've already gone out and bought new sheets and a bedskirt for the new room. All new bathroom accessories (minus the shower curtain and mat, I'll never give mine up) were procured yesterday. I even still have a trip to Ikea in the works for a few more storage bits.

Does any of this really motivate me to clean or decorate the room I already have?

Heck no.

But under threat of death from my parents, I have made a rather large pile of things to throw away in the corner of my room. I really need to take it out to the trash at some point. Maybe tomorrow because I'm always a procrastinator at heart.

Working for Metropolitan Organizing has really helped me at least see the things I need to change about how I live day to day and I'm going to try very hard once I move to enact those changes and maintain them as well. I'm kind of tired of living in a mess, even if its not that bad. I can still find everything I look for or need!

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Eve

We will celebrate your memory later today. I already checked the forecast and the sky will be that perfect shade of blue that we all love. The Clefs will most likely sing "Carolina in My Mind" and the last lines will make me cry, they have every time I've heard the song since it was sung at the original memorial.

How do we continue to say goodbye without forgetting? It is a blessing that you were so high profile. You had interactions with so many people that your kindness and desire for a better world are easy for us to embody within ourselves.

What still touches me the most is your father's speech/letter. It has amazed me every time I read it, to see the hope and optimism for my generation, written while mourning his baby girl.

I will never forget the last time I saw you, dancing into the banquet to pick up the Nikes we were all so thrilled about and merely 72 hours later, I was holding a candle in one hand (that I will never throw away) and my friends with the other, watching pictures of your life flash before us on the screen.

Thank you for choosing us to receive the gift of your short but well lived life. You are the embodiment of our school motto "Lux et Libertas" and the Carolina Way will never be forgotten.

When I am older, and am getting ready to have my first child, will someone please remind me what I thought tonight. If it is a girl, her middle name will be Eve and if it is a boy, perhaps Carson. If only I could embody her spirit by just giving her name, the world would be a better place again.