A teacher asked us what we would prefer, to be immortalized in art (writing, painting, music) or to lead a fulfilling life. Most of my classmates picked the fulfilling life and one in particular voiced the thoughts that I had put down on my paper.

I would choose to lead a fulfilling life. To make dreams come true, accomplish goals, and invest yourself in other people is a better way to 'immortalize' yourself. The change you enact might not bear your name, but that doesn't change its significance. Some art is unsigned or the author's name has been lost, but that doesn't decrease the value of it an any way, it just makes it harder to credit someone. Life isn't about getting credit for your actions. Firemen don't save rescue people for the fame, it is their job, what they want to do, and how they make their difference in the world. If a fireman rescues a boy tomorrow from a burning house and that boy grows up to be the best leader in history, then that fireman is an anonymous contributor to whatever that boy achieves. This seems to be far more important than having your name on a poem discussed throughout classrooms nationwide. Sure it would be nice to be in a Norton Anthology one day, but I'll be dead by then and it won't matter a bit.

I want to raise a family and invest in my children and grandchildren the way my mother and grandmother invested in me, sometimes in ways they never even realized. Had my grandmother not had a burning desire to attend UNC in the late '30s then I might not be here today. Her choices in life, to be a mother and a social worker, have shaped my life in ways she would've never imagined. I wish that she could have known that I'm here now and that I think of her every time I walk down Franklin past Mallette Street where she grew up. My mother never tried to sell this place to me, in fact I'm pretty sure I never realized she went here until I was in middle school and it was highschool before I learned how many of my relatives had UNC degrees. She was subtle. She showed me her yearbooks on rainy days and took me to plays at Playmakers. Daddy brought me to a football game once. Other than that, I was left to my own decisions. I'm glad I made the right one. I can't imagine where my life would be now, had I chosen State or applied to Duke. I'm sure I'd be happy, but I can't imagine my life without the people I've met these past 2.5 years. I hope they continue to be a part of my life for the rest of it!

I don't really worry about the time when my life will end (although I do fervently hope that it is not any time soon!) because the way I want to live my life, that day will come and I'll have no regrets. I'm not a religious person and most of you know this. I have expressed my views on this to one person really, and I probably would need his help in order to put them into words again. I don't worry about an afterlife, or heaven and hell. My life will be lived the way it should, like it is a little piece of heaven on earth. I want to do big things, but more importantly, I want to affect people. It doesn't matter if they like me or not. I want to inspire strong emotion. Since Ashlei and I trade quotes (since she loved that "I'm attracted to fucked up people. No, thats not nice. I'm not attracted to normalcy) here is something she believes, "Love me or hate me, I couldn't care less". I want people to be able to say, "Wow, she is amazing! I wish more people were like that!" or even "I fucking hate her! Why is she like that?" To cause strong feelings of both kinds, you must be doing something right (and the people that don't like you are probably just jealous!). I think she makes a good point and I love her for it. I'll never forget the times we shared in middle school or highschool and I hope to see her to the great things that I know she is capable of. I want to make a difference after I leave UNC like she will when she graduates from ASU (and goes on to Law School since only she can argue as well or better than me!).

I want my kids to go to school here. But I want them to understand that if they chose somewhere else, I'd be just as proud of them (going to college will be non-negotiable). I want them to be able to look back on me and feel like I supported them enough to follow their dreams, without trying to inflict my dreams upon them. I want them to do what makes them happy and support them through it all, even if I'm not quite sure I understand, because once upon a time, my parents did that for me and I'm not sure I really thought about it before tonight. Thank you.

I want to love unconditionally. I want to see past everyone's little imperfections, to see how perfect they are. I want to know what it is like to be loved like that. To love and be loved like little kids. That deep sense of attachment. I want to help people achieve their dreams. There's a really great country song that goes, "In my dreams, your dreams come true" and that is a direction that I see my life going in. Seeing other people happy is what makes me happy. To do something for someone that seems small and inconsequential to me and watch the smile grow across their face, is a feeling I cannot accurately describe. Making people happy and seeing people smile is what brings me the most joy.