Romance

Some time in my life, I would like a great romance. Not a grand one mind you, but a great one. I don't want to be whisked away to far away cities and be given gifts of jewelry. Instead I would like to be amazed and humbled at small showings of affection and caring that touch my heart. Because everyone, it is the small things that matter. Life isn't about the physical things, but rather, the emotional and mental things. I want to hear someone talk late into the night, and feel as though they are speaking directly to my soul.

Home

I would have never before said that I was proud of where I was from but I'm not sure I could love anywhere else as much. I love it for all the things that it gave me and even some of the things it did not give me. I only know my family back until a certain point because once you reach a specific place in time, records were not kept for the farmers and the poor. How could I not love the place that gave me initials on old trees by the stream or playing hide and go seek in 30 acres of untouched forest. The air smells different on the farm and I feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders on the rare occasion that I get to return there. The rest of the world is amazing. It holds history that we will never know. I want to see it all, I want to roam the lands in Europe, Africa, and Asia. I want to see the ruins and read the history books and walk on paths cut by feet many centuries gone. Then I want to return home, to my quiet life. Return to walks in the woods with my father. I am both ashamed and fiercely proud of the small place that made me who I am. It is different than anywhere else. Unless you live less than 30 miles away, you've never heard of it and you never will. That doesn't mean the people who live here are any less important, its just that they devoted their lives to something different.

“Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all. For now you are traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be.”

I feel rather embarrassed that I just quoted "The Princess Diaries" but Meg Cabot actually wrote that line and I haven't forgotten it since I read that book probably 10 years ago. I put the part I like best in bold. I feel that a minute spent worrying or over analyzing a situation is a minute wasted when you could've been doing what you truly wanted to do instead of considering all the possible outcomes and picking the safe bet. Risk isn't a bad thing. Don't embrace the security of a 'safe life' too much (unless of course that is exactly what you desire) and make sure that while you are getting the bills paid you are also bringing your dreams to fruition.

I'd rather die a day, or a week, or even a month sooner if I could truly know in my heart that I took the big chances that actually made me a happier and better person. No sense in living til you're 102 if you spent half your life being bored or cautious.

So go and have an adventure or two. It will be a lot more satisfying than sitting at home just thinking about it. Be brave!

“We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.”

Chuck Palahniuk

This quote speaks to the deepest part of me. The part that doesn't know what comes after death, there might be a heaven and/or a hell. There could be simply nothing, death could be like a single light being extinguished or burnt out. My mind cannot grasp such intangible things as faith and religion. Belief in a higher power is something I will never have, despite my occasional longing for it because there is no proof strong enough in the world to satisfy my questions.

To battle these feelings, I think of how I can make a simple or small impact that will leave a mark after I am gone. To cause a positive change that has a ripple effect over those that I know is my only desire. So very few people ever realize the effect they have, I want to embrace the world and affect it as much as possible. It's the only way that I will be able to feel as if I'll live forever.

Please no comments about religion.